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25-Nov-2016 10:29

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When I asked a mutual friend if Roslyn was dating, she informed me that although Roslyn had gone on a date or two here and there, she was just not ready. As a woman who has had the experience of dating two different men who were going through a divorce, I can unequivocally say that I’ll never date a married but separated man again.One was simply not emotionally ready to move on, while the other informed me after five months of dating that he was going to go back and give it another shot with his wife–only for them to end up divorced anyway. So, until a man was totally free and wasn’t involved with any other women that could claim him as her husband, I stayed away.Shutterstock A couple of days ago a friend and I were discussing another mutual friend–we’ll call her “Roslyn”–who was going through a divorce.Although the divorce hadn’t been finalized, her and her no ex-husband went their separate ways nearly two years ago.Like any other matter of the heart, your gut is your best tool to use when trying to decide if dating someone who is separated is worth it.

However, even if you play out many different scenarios in your head, you still will not be fully informed on your situation and how you should proceed.

My mom hated seafood so we would often go get fish together and make fun of people at work, school, etc. I always made sure everyone felt welcome and included.

My dad is tremendously funny and a phenomenal story teller. I wore the same pair of vans tennis shoes to school for 5 years straight, had long un-brushed hair, and wore oversized sweatshirts and jean shorts to school. Because I wasn’t popular and because I was picky, I didn’t go on a single date until I was almost 20 years old. I thought it best to not deal with this all in real time in hopes that my Dad would come to his senses.

Ladies, if you’re not sure if you’re just a rebound helping him to transition from marriage to single-hood, then avoid dating men who are separated and not divorced. There should be no pressure on him to define your relationship, divulge if he’s ready to get married again or even if he sees a future with you.

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Chances are he’s still reeling from the shock of his failed marriage to even begin to think about the possibility of going down that road again. But like all relationships that you might hope turn into a long-term commitment, take your time getting to know him.

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